Recently I've been noticing that I've been getting really lazy. Now, when I leave my room, I don't switch off the fan. This is something that irks me, just slightly - but I'm more curious than anything. I observe my brothers leaving the lights and fans on in their room, while moving about to the rest of the house; they leave them on for hours and they're not bothered. They won't wash the dishes and they're not bothered. I like to do things immediately. But recently I've been getting lazy. Maybe I've been bumming around too much.
My mom gets quite annoyed with my brothers and I when we don't do said duties. Washing the dishes, turning off light switches, turning the television on, putting the shoes on the rack, etc. I like doing all of these, but sometimes, I really just want to leave my plate in the sink and wash it a few hours later, just because I want to relax. I understood why my mom doesn't like it when we don't do our chores, because she's the one who ends up having to do it. But when she said the forks and spoons had to be separately put in different compartments, I felt like she was going slightly overboard and started to wonder if there's more to this phenomenon. I feel that because my mom's a housewife, the home is both a public and a private domain to her. To us, when we're outside at school or at work, there is order and routine, but when we return home, it is a private domain, and we just want to let go of such order, just kick off our shoes and relax. But to her, the home is where she finds order. Every human being needs order in her or his life. So there's a clash, because we want relaxation in our house, but for her order is also found in this exact place.
I'm not sure if this is true, but it makes me understand her behaviour more. I used to be such a brat. I hated it when my brothers didn't fill up the ice trays after taking what they needed. I hated it when my younger brother left his clothes hangers on my bed. Or his worn clothes. I used to get so angry I threw his clean clothes on the floor. I didn't mind doing my own shit but I hated doing shit for my brothers. It was their thing to do, why the hell should I help them? But nowadays, when I am craving an iced honey drink to soothe my flustered self from the heat of the day, and find empty ice trays, I don't find myself getting angry. Maybe I'm finally understanding the concept of family, or sibling-hood. Or maybe I'm just getting mellowed with age. Maybe they show their love to me differently, and this is just one small thing that I can do for them.
Labels: family, musings, random, the ng brothers
