I could never be a parent.
I greatly admire my mom. She sticks firmly to her beliefs, and she tries her best to bring us up well. But I've come to realise that she takes our actions as reflection, as validation of her actions, and that simply upsets me. It bewilders me, to be honest. I've never understood how she could feel that my brothers' choosing to smoke is the result of her not being a good mother.
This is why I could never be a parent. I wouldn't know how to balance letting my child go, and attempting to do right by my beliefs and values.
Sometimes I feel that the three of us let our mom down so much that she might one day just leave us without a word. And that terrifies me.
