Today I am grateful for my paternal grandma.
My parents and I drove to pick her up from her engagement in Ang Mo Kio to send her home. I was horrendously moody and just keeping to myself, squeezing myself as far back as I could into the seat, listening to music on my earphones. Ah Ma, seated next to me in the back seat, oblivious to the dark cloud above my head, asked, "Pammy che dio gong liao boh [this is my best transcript of Hokkien in Roman alphabet, please forgive me] (Pammy have you found a job)?"
I've been brought up to never be rude to my elders (note to self: the parents fall under this category as well, stop shooting your bloody mouth off, Pamela) so I answered her question in Hokkien saying "Ah ber (Not yet)," but I continued in Mandarin wanting to elaborate, but my mom interjected, saying "Ni bu shu ying gai gen ah ma yong Hokkien jiang hua de ma (aren't you supposed to be using Hokkien to converse with your grandma)?" So I tried my best, and while weakly attempting to tell them about the current situation I was facing with regard to my job hunt yet possessing great drive to use Hokkien impeccably, I inevitably let slip that I was feeling upset about a discussion I had with my elder brother during dinner.
My elder brother is unimpressed that I've spent 4 years getting a degree yet the job offers I'm getting don't seem to match up to the level of effort I've put in/my abilities.
My parents were surprisingly supportive when they found out about the difficulties I was facing trying to make a choice, and helped me work out the pros and cons of each job. I was really heartened that the both of them were eager to offer their personal experiences out in the workforce, and because they understood that I wasn't feeling well, they were really gentle and comforting, and didn't nag at nor scold me at all. Maybe I shouldn't use the word
surprisingly because I feel that sometimes it's just me - I feel that whatever I do or say would anger or disappoint my parents, and hence I am truly discouraged to speak to them about certain topics sometimes. However, as Huda told me, I might have disappointed my parents on certain accounts, but I'm never a disappointment to them.
It was really cute having my grandma ask about what events company do as well. I tried my best to explain in Hokkien.
Everyone just had my best interests at heart; I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude whenever I think about that.
I hope that if you've something within you that's deterring you from speaking to your parents about certain issues, please don't! They might scold and nag for a bit, but ultimately they care for you so you'd probably gain some insights from their words. I'm not saying that their words and experiences are necessarily entirely right or should be something that you live by, but I do feel that they've taken care of you for so long that they might actually know you better than you do yourself, or may be able to help, regardless of how slight the extent.
Labels: blood is thicker than water, conversations, Mommy, papa ng, the ng family
