Yesterday night, or more aptly, this morning at 4am, I went to bed with extreme emotions of rage. I was angry at a friend, I was angry at an ex-lover, I was just plain angry. I wanted to shout using my 6 years of choral training, from the depths of my lungs, I wanted to make Earth rumble and shake, and feel the wrath of my anger.
I was fucking angry.
I used to say "Politics aren't my thing, I don't like to get into such messy situations where they aren't any right answers, where one side cannot be pleased at the expense of displeasuring the other side - there are too many binaries and the world as we know it, IS GREY." However, now, with the appropriate amount of close-minded, narrow, bigoted and downright stupid Facebook posts and forum comments read, I am propelled to say: I AM INTO POLITICS.
My entire life is GENDERED. My life is RACIALISED.
It's absolutely infuriating when people go onto Facebook and share links of really uncritical entries, especially so when they don't qualify it with their thoughts, nor engage any other commenters critically. Some people believe that the right platform should exist for the proper quality of conversation, but hell no, don't hate on the platform - we're in a world where Social Media reigns King, no wait, QUEEN, no wait, GOD, ALLAH, whomever you pick, the Beatles, and I have seen intellectually and engaging conversations occur on Facebook. While you may ride on your righteous chariot and demand for a proper channel, let's say a debate on national TV, no actually, international TV, conversations are being carried out everywhere, from kopitiams to Tiong Bahru cafes to the top of Marina Bay Sands.
When you share something on Facebook, you qualify what you've shared, you let other people know if you agree or disagree, or if it's something even worth reading at all, or engage the person by replying to her or his response.
I'm not a radical feminist. I don't even know what type of feminist I am. All I know is that there are micro situations and there are macro incidents where inequality toward females exist. However, I am quick to let you know that I am also aware that in certain cases, there are privileges for women. It's because such disadvantaged treatment toward women has been systematic and taken as natural that it is an issue that should be tackled in a more pressing manner. By saying that, I do not mean that men should be pushed aside. I don't agree on viewing the world through binaries. It's not about men VS. women.
I don't know what kind of feminist I am. I do know I am a feminist. But what I yearn for, is to have discussions with both women and men, and queer people, to strive for equal treatment for all. I want to talk to people who would try their hardest to understand where I'm coming from, and put forth arguments that would make me see things from their perspectives, yet having this all happen in the healthiest way possible, where honesty is the flavour of the day, and all parties are prepared to face a bit of discomfort. What I don't wish for, are snarky remarks, choosing and picking on words, and leaping to conclusions without giving the least effort to understand the context.
We should always take whatever we read online with a pinch of salt. Every critical person would.
I woke up at 8 to texts from Yihan, whom had sent his thoughts at 4, spelling out what he thinks, and questioning his own bias. I appreciate such efforts; I wanted to be challenged, I want to be disagreed with, I want to question my own bias too.
I woke up with clenched fists. God I was so angry.
Labels: Anger, Feminism, Politics, Social media
