This is the telly.
The other man leans in for a kiss. Most magically - or unfortunately - your true soul mate arrives at that very moment. His heart shatters, his head drops, and he leaves with a whoosh of a turn.
You pull away from the other man. He looks confused, "Sorry, I meant to keep tonight platonic," and turns to leave as well.
You are left alone.
It's not like in the telly.
You go on dates, because of the special agreement you have with your lover -
we are not stuck to each other, we will not be tied down like that - and you try your hardest to be happy. Making small talk with the man across the table at dinner, but your mind's far away, far away in the East, in your lover's room. You close your eyes just for a second, the candles, the roses, the man, they all disappear, and you are transported to your lover's arms. His embrace, his ticklish beard, and that look in his eyes.
We spoke about that look before. You thought it was physical, but -
"Then what is it?" you asked.
"I don't know. Tinge of goosebumps, sparkle in your eye, lots of fairy tale bullshit and stuff like that," he answered.
You open your eyes. All you see in the eyes of the man seated opposite you is sexual.
It's not like in the telly.
You both have work obligations. You are tired every day, and there's nothing more to talk about, because you are exhausted. You have friends. There's your family.
When you finally meet, you are so overwhelmed with having not met him for so many days, it feels like you're meeting a stranger again.
It's not like in the telly.
It's draining. There aren't magically timed moments. Don't get stressed out over not seeing each other. Everything will fall into place. But if it doesn't, then so be it. Another lover will come along, or you will be alone for the rest of your life. And it doesn't matter. Being alone forever. It really doesn't.
