Haven't been writing in this space for a very long time because that's simply what's been happening in my life. Non-action and uneventful. I don't contemplate on matters; I struggle to get by from day to day. I cling on to anyone who does not try to push me to be okay. That's pretty pathetic in itself, but I just can't do it anymore. I think putting up a facade is something I don't have strength for anymore. I go to meetings dreadfully late and I give excuses to not meet up because there'll inevitably be that question "So what are you doing now?" My inability to answer that question or my urge to answer truthfully - trying not to kill myself every day - is cause for concern to them and while I hate being useless I hate being pitied more. Someone recently asked me what I wrote on my blog and I said "Thoughts and stuff". "So it's a online diary, kind of?" he had asked. I guess that's true. Is this really dated? I feel like I've been stuck... Mentally and physically. A fallout with a dear friend has caused some part of my mind to be caught at that moment. I can't deal with anything right now and I am sorry to say, I think I'll be happier once the noise has died down and all that plays is warm, warm techno. // Sleeping is a skill I do not possess. I sleep better when you hug me to sleep. I don't think you will ever realise how important you are to me, but you really are. "Hey gorgeous," you say, whenever we're in bed. You don't realise how much you make me laugh. You don't realise how good a person you are. // God I am tired.
I write about my everyday experiences & pen down my thoughts in this lil' space.
I read, listen to music, have a passion in language, love makeup and most of all, I observe. I really like learning.
I love making a difference.
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