A few days ago, I told someone "I will always be here for you."
I never realised how much one could actually
mean that statement, until I said it to someone else, because I've been having that said a lot to me recently, but I just keep brushing it off.
I know you will all be here for me, but... you're not the one going through this now. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. But I really appreciate the care, regardless how angry I get at you. I've been told to continue living my life but there they are now, the restraints placed by the same people wanting me to move on. Of course, I'm not okay. Not even in the slightest bit. But what am I to do?
I think the only way to actually make it through this alive is to remove myself from the situation and imagine if this had happened to someone close to me. Just like how I told someone that I would always be here for her. Because, doing this helps me clear my mind and I'm more rational. It helps me not break down.
I feel broken.
I am not me, not anymore.
But I will make sure justice is served, and for that, I will not break down.
As someone said, "I believe in hell, and this man is going to burn in hell for sure."