In-group out-group and LingSoc Fundraiser

HI ALL. I'm currently feeling really sickly, but I went to the University Health Centre (min scolded me for saying that; "Why can't you just say it's a clinic?!?!" But really, that's what UHC is called, isn't it!!) and got some medicine so my throat's feeling a lot better. I spent the bulk of my time awake sneezing away yesterday. I'm the kind of person who has to pinch their nose when they sneeze, so all that nonstop sneezing made my head feel like it was full of pressure. There was a constant ring in my head yesterday! I took two panadol yesterday, which significance you might not fully appreciate, but if I tell you I've most probably taken fewer than fifteen panadol in my entire life you might understand how horrible I was feeling yesterday.

To think the UHC doctor thought I was trying to fake it when I asked for an MC. ): ): ):

I still had to go for another clinic appointment after that, and I'm so appreciative of Bryan for accompanying me even though he hadn't slept at all the previous night. Yesterday, while feeling so miserable, it finally dawned on me that I do need support and care from people around me even during times when I'm not ill. I really hate being dependent on other people and asking for help, so usually I only allow myself to look for people when I'm ill. But yesterday I realised that that's such a stupid belief. Humans are such social creatures and we always look out for each other, regardless of whether it's in times of need (like being ill or meeting with crises), or just happy times. I'll stop being stupid and saying "I don't need you" to friends, because to be honest, I do really need you all. (':


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So I've been really concentrating on schoolwork recently. I received my mid-terms result for Interactional Discourse and I think I scored the lowest in class ._. It's mostly to do with time management, because I left the last three questions blank, but I'm starting to think I'm just getting... stupid. ._. Got scolded by Bryan for thinking that, and Melcher and Gang both said "It's just one test for one module," so I'm going to just do better for the group project and end of year paper!!

Recently, during my Intro to Cultural Studies tutorial, we were discussing gender norms and anxiety surrounding gender norms. My group picked out an article on Caster Semenya, a South-African athlete who was forced to undergo a "gender test" to prove that she was a woman because her clocked time for the 800m world championships in 2009 was much faster than the other competitors'. Here's the article if you want to read it: Athlete forced to take gender test.

Firstly, it's not a gender test but more of a sex test, no? Sex has a biological basis while gender has more social meanings. I brought up during tutorial that there's anxiety surrounding this issue because it brings to question what we all take for granted to be male and female; there's variation even within the female sex category and male sex category, it's just that we choose to ignore it. There're even more categories such as intersexed people. I talked about our anatomies, about what (and who -- doctors) defines us to be female and male sexes, and that they may not be as dichotomous as we believe they are. THE WHOLE CLASS LOOKED AT ME AS IF I WAS AN ALIEN.

*breaks down

Gang totally laughed when I told them that had happened, but omgosh I really felt like in that very moment, I had sprouted tentacles and grown ten heads.

To add on to that moment, when the class was discussing Disney and Disney princesses, my groupmates were gushing about their favourite princesses and I.... absolutely refused to partake in that. I honestly felt like I was such an outsider at that moment, an outsider of "what it means to be a feminine female" in our society. It was as if my not wanting to have a favourite Disney princess meant I didn't qualify to be a real female in our society. When I told Gang about it, like how I feel conflicted sometimes as to how I'm supposed to behave -- to be complicit in perpetuating heteronormative gender norms and be liked, or to stay true to my beliefs and be less popular, his reply was really succinct: "Well, this isn't a popularity contest, is it?" GANG IS ALWAYS RIGHT. But I honestly felt so bad that day, just because of that short incident, which made me feel so excluded, that I was down for quite a bit.

Just that tiny event made me feel bad for quite some time, and I couldn't really put my finger down on the reason why until I gave it some thought. Just one small occurrence made me feel excluded -- I can't imagine how it would be like to be a sexual minority or a gender minority, or even just in disadvantaged groups which are even more explicitly discriminated against. I will do my best to learn more and change more people's beliefs to treat everyone more equally, irrespective of where they come from, how they speak, how they dress like, their skin colour and so on and so forth!!

Sorry I've been typing so many words, but these issues have been weighing heavily on my mind. Let's move on to some images now -- here're some photos from when LingSoc had our first fundraiser!



Pops gave me a lift to the train station; I opened a new lipstick that day!! I have about 10 lipsticks unopened....... This is Sephora's lip cream which I absolutely love. I actually asked one of the staff what she was wearing on her lips and this was it! Wanted to get it there and then but it's been sold out for really long because it's such a vibrant colour, stays on really well and only costs $20. So when it finally got restocked, I bought one and... left it at home. Only used it after a few months. LOL. I have so many red lipsticks opened!!


It is reminiscent of Shanghai ladies, lace and film noir. (:

Div, Moritza, Melcher and I went to Tom's Palette to pack ice cream into small cups! I didn't take any photos of us at Tom's but please trust me when I tell you that scooping ice cream is no small feat ._. My right arm really ached quite badly!


But we made up for it by having yummy Thai food at Ah Loy Thai for lunch. This is the garlic fried chicken which was really, really good. I think they use a really high temperature to fry the garlic bits and chicken, so the result is really crispy crunchy bits, but they aren't too greasy.


Green curry!! Really gao, I like.

Got a lift from Mor back to school, thanks Mor for sacrificing your Monday for LingSoc! :D

Made this sign with Bert after ID:


She did most of it la hahaha I'm so lousy at design work.

Came home a really tired lady.




But this was what I wore that day! Red high waist shorts from Pull&Bear, bought in Spain. Top's Stradivarius, bought in Spain as well. (:

Because Bert had introduced me to scrapbook materials and I was so fascinated, I went to Popular and bought a shittonne of stuff and made these at home:



Day of the Fundraiser:


The first shift! (:

We were selling Tom's Palette ice cream to raise funds for our society! Because Melcher works there, we were able to purchase ice cream really easily, and Melcher's boss is sooooo nice -- he provided dry ice, boxes for us to transfer the ice cream, spoons, and serviettes free-of-charge!


Bought myself some Melt&Sizzle hehe (:


All of us were supposed to wear blue and I realised I didn't really have items of blue in my closet.... 'cept for this Topshop bralet. And I thought it'd be too vulgar to wear shorts with it, since it is a crop top, I wore my highwaisted jeans! Which turned out to be a pain because the weather was incredibly warm.



Hehe first supporter (: (: (: Love youuuuu! Thanks for staying for close to two hours and even helping me sell to your other friends.


Jaspyy and Pearlyn too! (: Thanks very much for coming to buy from me, and also catch up a little. Though the two of you were scaring me with all the recruitment talks and tests *-* SO INTENSE


And pretty Nana also came down as well! (: Thanks for supporting me yayyyy :D

Also: it really got too stifling hot so I tied up my hair in a bun if you'd noticed.


And Yihan too! Love you vvv much thanks for coming waha.


And Zhiwei also came down!! :D Love you the most, sorry I dropped a bombshell on you, and most importantly I miss seeing you around in school, you Geog major


NEMMY ALSO CAME, LURBS YOUUUUU. Sorry I couldn't give you a discount!


And bossssssssss too love you very much thanks for being so supportive still donate 3$ to us HAHAHAHAHA.

Joachim, Junyong and I hopped over to the EL department office to sell ice cream and all the office ladies were SO SUPPORTIVE. One of them asked me why we were doing it, and I told her it's because we don't feel that the presence of language majors in the NUS ELL department group is significant, and if we have our own society there can be more support and welfare for our own language majors and she just went "Okay, have my money!" They were also really cute talking about the flavours -- "What ice cream is this?" "Ben and Jerry?" "No?? Ah okay Tom and Jerry" hahahaahahah.  We sold everything at about 4pm (had started at about 10am), so it was a good run! :D Thanks everyone for being so supportive, do check out events on English Language NUS FB page! Also, check out Tom's Palette because they have really yummy ice cream!

I bought a cup for Nick and delivered it to hall for him, because the poor man was stuck in lab. Damn engineering lab sessions, they're so bloody long and tedious!

The next day:


BERT WAS SO SWEEET!! Because I'd been a whiny kid and complaining about the lack of healthy food in the Deck, she brought an apple for me during gender class :DDDDDDDDD


And I also got Ferrero Rocher from her! There were just nicely 5 inside that row so I shared them with her, Jiexin, Melcher and Gang. (: See, my momma taught me to share!


Brought the last one home and ate it a few days later :D Thank you Bert!! (:

Speaking of chocolates, when Amalina was at my place a few weeks back, she produced M&Ms which I'd never seen before!


Since when were M&Ms pastel-coloured?!?!?!???!!


She also bought me a slice of raspberry cheesecake from Starbucks, (: (: (: Thank you so very much you lovely woman, YOU'RE THE BEST!!

And also, thank you very much for helping me out that day (and for all these years), because I really felt so much better after that.

Ending off very randomly is a copy of The Beatles' A Hard Day's Night vinyl which our professor passed around in our Intro to Cultural Studies class. I've never actually held a record in my hands before so that was pretty cool. According to him this is worth about 300pounds!




Thanks for reading this entry! I'm sorry I was ranting a little, but I really need to let off some steam. Haven't been feeling myself for ages, but yesterday I received a piece of really good news, so I'm feeling more comforted and less worried. (:

Hope y'all have a nice weekend!

Here's some SBTRKT if you feel like you're in the mood for some electronic music:

Labels: EnglishLanguage, gender issues, I LOVE MY FRIENDS, LingSoc, school life, Thank You

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