i always type i don't cry that much nowadays but in actual fact, i do. moments ago, i was staring at this blank Blogger page, feeling my tears drip onto my hands. my right leg is crossed beneath my left thigh, and my hands were loosely intertwined. the drips were pretty random. whenever i screwed up my eyes the tears would fall. i haven't read your blog in a really long while and that's because... well to be honest it's because i'm not part of your life anymore. i'm sad because i don't think i'm your friend anymore - to a certain extent, because i know i'll always be your friend, and we'll always love each other and care for each other and be there for each other, but this is slightly different; i just don't seem to see you often and sometimes it gets uncomfortable. like things just get a little out of line. our behaviour, what we say. i don't mean out of line as in rude, but rather, out of line, like maybe misaligned. i'm afraid of saying something wrong, i suppose. i think this sadness is stupid, because after all, who really has the time to always meet up and all? but i just don't like how we are now, is all i'm saying, i think. i want this to change, and i don't know how to make it change. i feel helpless. i feel helpless knowing that you might actually disappear from my life and i didn't do anything to stop it. sometimes i wish our friendship never changed. to be frank i wish it all the time. a few days ago, someone asked me if he had changed. i had to think long and hard about that. what defines a person's change? their physical qualities? the way they think? how they dress? their personality? i concluded that he did change, "of course you did," I had said. it scared me when i realised change is inevitable. i think we've both changed, and while i know we're both here to stay, sometimes i wish with all my heart i was a little more important to you.
I write about my everyday experiences & pen down my thoughts in this lil' space.
I read, listen to music, have a passion in language, love makeup and most of all, I observe. I really like learning.
I love making a difference.
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