I guess what everyone is most familiar with is this definition: "Complimentary language; polite expression of praise or flattery".  How do you react to praise or flattery?  When I was younger, and I received compliments such as "You look so pretty!" or "I love your outfit!" or "You're so nice!", I would always DENY the compliment.  My replies would be along the lines of "No, it's just makeup" or "No, this haphazard outfit?!"  The social and cultural environment that we've been brought up in teaches us to be humble, and to not be proud, or to brag.  While I agree that being modest is a virtue, I feel that there's a fine line between being modest and PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN.  Because whenever I denied those compliments that were given to me, those words I said inevitably stayed with me and increasingly I started to believe them; I wasn't pretty, I wasn't nice, my outfits weren't worthy of praise.  Words are powerful - especially words coming from your own mouth.  Of course, as time passed, I realised such negativity was wrong, and I learnt to deal with it.

This thus leads me to the next point: HOW YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY REACT TO COMPLIMENTS --

Say "Thank you."  That's all you need to do!  Say "Thank you."  And perhaps add in a smile, or if you're the cheery kind, give a great grin and nod affirmatively.  Even if you don't feel that you're pretty or good looking, someone else does!  Give that person credit for her or his opinions.  Even if you feel that your act of kindness wasn't a big deal, someone else really appreciated it.  Just take her or his compliment with grace.


Denying the compliment or saying "thank you" have been two reactions that I've talked about.  There is one other reaction that I have yet to bring up:  paying a compliment back.  Why is it that when someone compliments us, we always feel obliged to pay the compliment in some way or another, regardless of whether it's actually true or not?  I guess the definition "A ceremonial act or expression as a tribute of courtesy, ‘usually understood to mean less than it declares’ [emphasis mine]"stems from this, from the common practice of people paying back "compliments".  This is the tricky one, and this is related to a practice that guys often say girls like to do: pay FAKE compliments.

I recently watched Mean Girls (for the first time ever, hells yeah I never knew all dem references, is it social suicide to mention this because my cool factor has now diminished by a gazillion times?  :x Tina Fey is brilliant, and I did like Rachel McAdams in it, though) and this scene involving Regina George, Cady Heron, and a girl in plaid skirt comes to mind.  It goes like this:


Regina to girl: 
Oh, my God!  Love your skirt.  Where did you get it?        

Girl: 
It was my mom's in the 80's.        

Regina: 
Vintage. So adorable.        

Girl: 
Thanks!

Regina to Cady: 
That is the ugliest F-ing skirt  I've ever seen.


People lie all the time, but whether they lie for good or bad reasons, we wouldn't really know.  I'm not really interested in people who pay fake compliments, because that's just really mean and unwarranted, but I do find it interesting when people feel the need to lie to someone who has just paid them a compliment, out of good intentions.

A scenario might be like this:

A: 
I LOVE YOUR SHIRT IT'S SO CUTE, I love the prints

B: 
Aww thanks!  I love your top too, the lace is so pretty


I don't think people need to lie just because they feel obliged to return the compliment.  It'll just make you feel bad that you lied!  It might make the receiver feel better because she or he is receiving a compliment as well, but it's not genuine.  Why not compliment someone when you TRULY feel that you should do it?  You needn't only praise someone for their looks and outfits (those are overrated); actions should be appreciated too!  Small actions such as holding the door open for someone, helping someone up the bus, or teaching someone how to use Facebook (which, by the way, is really difficult, if that someone is from the pre-Internet generation).

However, if you really did think that person deserves that compliment, but she/he was just too fast and complimented you first (like in B's case, in the scenario I mentioned), you should do it.  SPEAK THE TRUTH!  I'm just saying if you don't feel that way, you don't have to return the compliment!  Sometimes, some girls even put themselves down just to return a compliment, for example:

C:  
You're so skinny babe!  Love that outfit on you

D:  No, what nonsense, you're the skinny one - I have thunder thighs 

(I see this on Instagram A LOT)

Firstly, why should being "skinny" be a compliment........?  That really reveals a lot about what society teaches us to treasure (pooey, I say).  Secondly, you really ought to treasure yourself more than to make yourself feel bad just to return a compliment.  Compliments aren't about comparisons!


So in short, pay a compliment when you think it's worthy of one.  When you receive a compliment, don't feel obliged to lie and return it.  If you do want to return the compliment because you think it's true, do it!  Also, don't deny the compliment given to you.  After all, it's someone's opinion and that should count for something.  But more importantly, someone else's words about you shouldn't affect drastically the way you feel about yourself; your own beliefs and thoughts matter a lot more.

Hope everyone is having a good mid-week!  (: